Something about September...

My favourite month. It's like the beginning of a new year.  Saying farewell to summer, the days gradually become cooler and a crisp freshness draws me in, gives me ideas for settling into the new season. Cool and damp takes over the mornings that ooze into bright breezy afternoons. 

A lot of my special memories are September ones. 

I always loved school and I guess September with its promises of learning to solve new and exciting mathematical problems just brought me joy.  Hahaha!!!!  Okay now...you got me.  Anything mathematical or arithmeticish brought me nothing but pain, frustration and terror...(especially in grade 3 when my teacher used her pointy ruler to bang on the desk while each person had to quickly add up columns of numbers out loud!!  Eeek!!  I was always the shyest person in the class and speaking out loud frightened the daylights out of me.  You can imagine how my brain would freeze up with the stress of not only adding in my head, but spewing the answers out loud while keeping up with her ruler.  The truth is I couldn't even come up with answers, which made my teacher roar with frustration that made me the recess victim of the class bullies.) Phew!! I am breathless just from the memory of it.

Aside from the grade three madness my favourite September thoughts involve new shoes, new clothes, the smell of fresh text books.   Blank note books.  Pencils still long and unchewed.  Pink Pearl erasers.  Fresh jars of paste...oooh!!  Walks to school on foggy mornings.  Collecting leaves to be pressed in wax paper. Watching raindrops slide down windows.  Biting into a crisp MacIntosh apple.............!

One memory is not a favourite but I think about every year,  I was just about to start grade 5.  My mom had recently become the single mother of five and the money was tight.  Sears was having a special credit card promotion guaranteeing almost anyone "instant credit".  Mom took all of us to the catalogue department where we picked out new school clothes and shoes.  It was when "squash heels" were in and I was excited to be getting a pair.  It took over an hour to scan the catalogue and choose all the exciting stuff for me, my brother (grade 2) and my sister who was just starting grade 1.  And then my mom went to get her first credit card.  It seemed to take forever while we sat there waiting.  I imagined how the girls at school would flock around me admiring my shoes.  Finally I would be accepted....

My dream was cut short when my mom backed away from the counter in shame.  She didn't qualify for a credit card.  What?!  No squash heels??!! The shock I felt was probably nothing compared to what my mom was feeling but at the time nothing else mattered to me.  I survived somehow and the squash heel fad lasted slightly longer than my disappointment.

My most precious September memory isn't from my childhood.  It's the memory of giving birth to a perfect little son.  The most amazing part was that someone trusted me to actually take this baby home.  No one was questioning my ability as a mother and no one tried to stop me.  There are no words to describe the awe I felt as I left the hospital with my son strapped to my body with the help of my snugli baby carrier (this was in the days before you needed a 6 week training course to install the baby into the mandatory car seat).  It was a warm sunny day.  On the way home from the hospital we stopped for ice-cream cones (banana fudge) (for us adults...not the newborn).  Someone had pointed out to me earlier in the month that September was the best time to have a new baby because it was a time for nesting and getting all settled in for winter.  I liked that. 

And this drifts into another memory, a different year but still September....

Having given birth to another perfect little son towards the end of August, I sat in a tow truck trying not to scream hysterically.  It was one of those gray rainy afternoons. We had quickly run into a store to pick up something on our way to a birthday party.  Our 4-week-old son was strapped into the snugli (same one as 3 years earlier).  We didn't want to disturb our 3-year-old son who was sleeping in his car seat and we were going to be only minutes.  Without noticing the time (3:55 pm) we parked in a no parking from 4-6:00 pm zone right in front of the store.  We came back to the vehicle a few minutes later and it was gone!!!!!!!!

Remember what I said earlier about no one questioning my ability as a mother??   Hmmm....

The tow trucks in that neighbourhood started towing at 4:00:01.  There was one passing by as we stood on the street in a state of confusion.  My calm husband managed to flag down the driver and while I controlled my panic he explained that our toddler was asleep in the back seat of our towed vehicle.  The driver let us hop into his truck while he radioed ahead to the impound yard.  The dispatcher went and checked and reported that our little fellow was still sound asleep.  He added, "cute little guy..." as I choked back sobs of shame and relief. 

September.  As the month draws to a close, I am filled with thoughts of golden days gone by.  Lasting rewards of hanging on and temporary sadness of letting go.  Taking the good bites with the bad ones. The changing seasons of life have more meaning to me now and although the childish toys in the nest have been replaced with dog toys and memories I am still preparing to settle in for winter.....