Redeeming the Time.....again

Well here it is January 11th already and I promised myself that I would write a blog post every week (not quite a new year resolution...just an attempt to get myself out of procrastination mode).

I started out the year by sorting through my old writing files (and there are a LOT of them).  I have file folders full of stories I've started over the years, and some folders with stories I've actually finished...well one folder with 2 finished stories...)  I also have about 14 little hard cover note books with stuff written in them.  They date back to the mid seventies.  It's very disheartening to look at them because (partly) I was in a totally different frame of mind back then and (also) when I read these I think "for the love of Pete or Mike or someone...would it have killed you to finish something!!!!?" 

So I have a plan (I think).  I'm going to go through each notebook (painstakingly) and salvage any of the stuff that I think is worthy of being read by anyone other than myself, and I'm going to transfer it all into one big notebook.  So there...I've said it out loud.  That makes it official.  I'll start tomorrow right after I finish my coffee.....

But wait....I have something else to share with my vast readership.

I'm pretty sure the people who continuously invite me to join them in Farmville 2 don't read my blog, so I won't be offending them by venting here.

My thought each time I receive an invitation is "please get a life and stop wasting time in this fantasy world!!!! No!! I don't want to join you in Farmville 2! I have enough trouble keeping my own reality from impairing my sanity. Why would I want to add another one to this chaos??!!"

There.  Now I feel better.  No I don't!!!!!!!!  Because I can't stand the thought of people (myself included) wasting time on useless things. 

I've become aware lately (not that I didn't know already...) how short life is.  How much time do we really have?  Let's see now....if I live to be eighty, I've used up approximately 77% of my life.  What a scary thought!!  How much of that 77% have I used doing meaningful things?  Yikes!!!!

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not talking about relaxing and/or puttering around the house.  I'm talking about useless stuff....like inventing a pretend world and actually living in it.  Or dwelling on past hurts and offences and reliving them over and over....yeah I admit it.  That was me.  I did it.

When I think of how much time I've spent thinking about regrettful decisions I've made over the years, or how many hours I've thought about how it would feel to get revenge on people who hurt me (my grade 3 and grade 6 teachers come to mind......heheheheh............!!!!)

But.  While I've been wasting time on these meaningless things, it (time) has not been standing there waiting for me to come to my senses before it starts ticking again.  It keeps on going like sand slipping through my fingers.

A serious slap of reality that I experienced lately was helping my mother-in-law sort through her possessions as she prepared to move to a retirement community.  I'm not joking when I say it seems like yesterday that she was a strong and vibrant figure in my life.  She was full of energy, always on the move and always giving me advice whether I needed it or not. (**mostly I thought I didn't need it but now that I think back....I needed it!!)

It saddens me deeply to see her now as a forgettful, frail shadow of the livewire she once was and it shocks me to realize that I am only one generation away from being in her position. 

I don't have time to dwell on the past or fear for the future.  I MUST seize every moment before my time runs out.  When I go, I want my children to say, "She was a valuable person in my life" instead of "She created an amazing Farmville world".