Tomorrow morning - early - I'm going in for cataract surgery on my left eye. It's a simple thing but of course I don't like the thought of eye surgery - no matter how simple it may be. Probably millions of people have this done every day with no problems. But I keep thinking that maybe I could be the one in a gazillion who have problems. And I ask myself "what would I say to my family and friends if I knew that this was to be my last chance?"
Phew!!!
I would start out by apologizing for not being more honest with all of you. I would tell you all how much I care about you and that would be the truth. But what I haven't told you (at least all of you who don't know this already) is that God cares about you a lot more than I do.
I know you may think this is one of the hokeyest things you've heard but hokey or not, it's the truth. If you snicker about this or don't believe it - that's okay because I used to feel exactly like you do. I know that a lot of people think Christianity is just another religion and I used to think that too. The funny thing about this is that these same people (including myself at one time) are willing to try almost everything else....self help books, meditation, Buddhism, astrology, you name it. But no one wants to hear that Jesus loves you and he died for your sins.
The number one thing they don't want to hear is "SIN" because (I think) most people see themselves as basically good and they don't want their self esteem to be damaged by the "S" word. Unfortunately most people think of SIN as stuff like murder, rape, theft over $500, torturing animals, bank robbery, etc. Those are sins - no doubt. But the truth is that breaking any one/or all of God's ten commandments is sin (Exodus 20:2-17). It's pretty basic.
God created us and he loves us. I learned this at an early age (9 years old) . Our family was at a very low point. There were some health issues with my sister and things were very rocky between my parents (my dad was a violent alcoholic). I started going to Sunday School with some neighbours and I learned about Jesus and how much he loved even me. I asked him into my heart one Sunday afternoon and I really did feel his presence in my life for awhile. But then we moved away from that neighbourhood and my dad left and although I continued going to different Sunday Schools on and off for a few years, I eventually ended up going through some really bad stuff.
The sadly funny thing is that although I had turned my back on God and all the things I'd learned from my short-lived relationship with him, He never turned his back on me. No matter what I did, I always had a feeling that I didn't belong here. I never felt accepted in the "hippy" movement. I always felt like there was more to life than what I was doing, and although Cosmopolitan magazine told me it was totally normal to do the things I was doing, I always felt bad. When I think back now, I realize it was because God was trying to draw me back to him.
Sure I was just a kid when I asked him into my heart and maybe I didn't really understand what I was doing - but HE DID. And he never let go of my heart. He waited patiently for me to come back to him and I did. Finally at age 33 I gave up, letting go of all my confusion and allowing him to start helping me make sense out of life. I'd done some things in my past that I regret to this day...things I could never change...and he is with me even now when I spend time longing for ways to erase the pain that I caused others and myself.
This world is a scary place.
It's full of hatred and violence. People hurting each other for nothing more than meaningless riches they might gain here on earth. But when they leave this earth, all the material wealth will be forgotten. And then what?
It's plagued with natural disasters that devastate thousands of people and I don't know why. All I do know is that God comforts and soothes. And I do know that there is a better place than this. This earth is not going to last forever but our souls will last forever. I know that Satan is desperate to steal, kill and destroy souls and he is working hard at it.
I know God loves us. I feel his love and his comfort every time I call out for his mercy in situations that are out of my control.
He loves you too, whoever you are. Being a Christian is not just a bunch of rituals performed at various times and places. It's a relationship with him - the Living God, the one who loved us so much that he gave his only son to die so that we could live in forgiveness and peace.. (John 3:16-17)
If today was my last chance to say anything, this would be it.
And then I would go walk on the beach with my family, listening to seagulls screeching and waves rushing in to the shore. And if there was still time after that, I'd go shoe shopping.
The number one thing they don't want to hear is "SIN" because (I think) most people see themselves as basically good and they don't want their self esteem to be damaged by the "S" word. Unfortunately most people think of SIN as stuff like murder, rape, theft over $500, torturing animals, bank robbery, etc. Those are sins - no doubt. But the truth is that breaking any one/or all of God's ten commandments is sin (Exodus 20:2-17). It's pretty basic.
God created us and he loves us. I learned this at an early age (9 years old) . Our family was at a very low point. There were some health issues with my sister and things were very rocky between my parents (my dad was a violent alcoholic). I started going to Sunday School with some neighbours and I learned about Jesus and how much he loved even me. I asked him into my heart one Sunday afternoon and I really did feel his presence in my life for awhile. But then we moved away from that neighbourhood and my dad left and although I continued going to different Sunday Schools on and off for a few years, I eventually ended up going through some really bad stuff.
The sadly funny thing is that although I had turned my back on God and all the things I'd learned from my short-lived relationship with him, He never turned his back on me. No matter what I did, I always had a feeling that I didn't belong here. I never felt accepted in the "hippy" movement. I always felt like there was more to life than what I was doing, and although Cosmopolitan magazine told me it was totally normal to do the things I was doing, I always felt bad. When I think back now, I realize it was because God was trying to draw me back to him.
Sure I was just a kid when I asked him into my heart and maybe I didn't really understand what I was doing - but HE DID. And he never let go of my heart. He waited patiently for me to come back to him and I did. Finally at age 33 I gave up, letting go of all my confusion and allowing him to start helping me make sense out of life. I'd done some things in my past that I regret to this day...things I could never change...and he is with me even now when I spend time longing for ways to erase the pain that I caused others and myself.
This world is a scary place.
It's full of hatred and violence. People hurting each other for nothing more than meaningless riches they might gain here on earth. But when they leave this earth, all the material wealth will be forgotten. And then what?
It's plagued with natural disasters that devastate thousands of people and I don't know why. All I do know is that God comforts and soothes. And I do know that there is a better place than this. This earth is not going to last forever but our souls will last forever. I know that Satan is desperate to steal, kill and destroy souls and he is working hard at it.
I know God loves us. I feel his love and his comfort every time I call out for his mercy in situations that are out of my control.
He loves you too, whoever you are. Being a Christian is not just a bunch of rituals performed at various times and places. It's a relationship with him - the Living God, the one who loved us so much that he gave his only son to die so that we could live in forgiveness and peace.. (John 3:16-17)
If today was my last chance to say anything, this would be it.
And then I would go walk on the beach with my family, listening to seagulls screeching and waves rushing in to the shore. And if there was still time after that, I'd go shoe shopping.
1 comment:
JUST FOUND UR BLOG. CHRISTINE. WHAT A
VERY POWERFUL MESSAGE ! I AM SO GLAD U WROTE !
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